Ride the Exit

LYRICS

🎵 Ride the Exit (Extended IPO Parody)

[rising volume, energy slowly builds]

Bass drum solo

Verse 1

We sold our souls for quarterly gains,

Polished the numbers, ignored all the pains.

Nine-nine-six hours, the badge of the brave,

Clock in at the office, and clock out in the grave.

Pre-Chorus

The ticker ascends while the wages stay flat,

The dream is a yacht, but reality’s THAT:

The workers are coding while half-asleep,

The markets applaud as the profits LEAP.

Chorus

Up, up, up — it’s our moment!

We’re gonna be, gonna be liquid.

Bow to the gong, let the bankers admit it,

We’re gonna be, gonna be liquid.

Ride the Exit, Ride the Exit — eye pee owe ignition!

Verse 2

Nine-nine-six gospel is catching on fast,

More hours, more grind, the future’s recast.

Burnout’s the trophy, exhaustion’s the crown,

Our stock price goes vertical, never comes down.

Pre-Chorus

Invisible hands keep turning the gears,

The gains go to few, the cost’s in the tears.

Champagne on rooftops, the workers inside,

We worship the chart and pay all the fines.

Chorus

Up, up, up — it’s our moment!

We’re gonna be, gonna be liquid.

Ticker’s a circus, the clowns all admit it,

We’re gonna be, gonna be liquid.

Ride the Exit, Ride the Exit — eye pee owe ignition!

Verse 3 (satire turns darker)

We pray to the market, we kneel to the bell,

Nine-nine-six heaven, a workplace hell.

“Efficiency” means you’re chained to the chair,

But look at the founders — they’re billionaires.

Pre-Chorus

The logos are shiny, the slogans are slick,

The workers are tired, but the system is sick.

The hockey stick growth built with your time,

How did we get there, I’ll see you online.

Chorus

Up, up, up — it’s our moment!

We’re gonna be, gonna be liquid.

This is the gospel of labor submitted,

We’re gonna be, gonna be liquid.

Ride the Exit, Ride the Exit — eye pee owe ignition!

Bridge

Lock-up is ticking, the founders rejoice,

While coders collapse with no audible voice.

Nine-nine-six whispers: “Success has a cost,”

The workers are burning, the system gets glossed.

Verse 4 (absurd flourish)

From cubicles stacked to the corporate skies,

We monetize sleep, we financialize sighs.

The satire’s real but the we need to reveal,

The market’s a hamster, break free from the wheel.

Final Chorus (anthemic + ironic)

Up, up, up — we’re selling the sky,

We’re gonna be, gonna be liquid.

Nine-nine-six made us, but nobody asks why,

We’re gonna be, gonna be liquid.

Ride the Exit, Ride the Exit — eye pee owe ignition!

Ride the Exit, Ride the Exit — capitalism’s fiction!