Brand New Website
April Fools AI— DJ Led Growth
Track 4 — 3:30
INTRO — spoken
Gather round. Let me tell you how it happened.
VERSE 1
Once upon a homepage in a kingdom of the bland,
Lived a website no one visited that no one understands.
Every page was braggadocious, every line was "look at me,"
But nobody was looking 'cause they'd bounce by section three.
Stock photo Steve was shaking hands with dead and hollow eyes,
A woman blessed her laptop like it changed her entire life.
Then came a knock. A coat. A case.
A man who looked the data in the face.
He went to where the buyers live and asked 'em what's the wreck,
They told him things we'd never had the decency to check.
He pinned it on the wall and said, "This is what they need.
Stop describing the ship. Describe the one who bleeds."
CHORUS
Brand new website, built it brick by brick!
Tore the old one down to studs and made the new one stick!
Held the line when it hurt, held the line when it stung,
Killed the words that weren't working, gave the real ones room and lung!
VERSE 2
Week three: funeral. Everyone was there.
Lined the zombie words up underneath fluorescent glare.
"Synergy," you're done. "Best-in-class," you're through.
"Solutions" crawled back twice — Jonah killed it with a crunch.
Burned the stock photo gallery, what a gorgeous blaze,
Goodbye Steve, goodbye strangers pointing at a chart for days.
Called the illustrators in — no borrowed face, no rented name,
Draw the bridge from where they are to where they'll be.
Every image ours. Not a pixel for a liar.
CHORUS
Brand new website, built it line by line!
Killed the zombies, burned the stock, the truth looks more than fine!
Held the nerve when it cracked, held the craft when it bled,
Ripped out every rented lie and earned the words instead!
BRIDGE
Week six it nearly broke. Scope creep, timeline split,
Someone typed, "What if we just keep the old site?"
Silence. The bad kind. Fifteen revisions deep.
We sat with it. Didn't spin it. Didn't leave.
The thing beneath the thing beneath the fear we wouldn't face
Said its name: one last room we didn't gut. One braggadocious space.
We opened it. Emptied it. The whole site shifted like a house
That drops a wall and finds it was blocking all the light.
FINAL CHORUS
Brand new website — standing, breathing, true!
Every zombie buried, every stock photo through!
Three months forged in something harder than ambition or desire:
Love for the craft, love for the people, love that doesn't tire!
Not a monument. A bridge that knows your name.
OUTRO — spoken
Customer landed yesterday. Red the whole page. Didn't bounce.
Scrolled to the bottom and clicked the button
like it was the only natural thing to do.
Ship it.